Blog Archive

1.13.2009

radio game

okay, so I'm a fan of asking my ipod, itunes, or the radio..."life questions"
I know you're thinking "she crazy."
but so what?


anyway, the way it goes is.....
I ask/ say aloud"
"give me a song that represents the mood for the day" and I'll hear something like..."celebration" from kool and the gang and know, omg it's going to be a good day.

So, I've been asking..."should winnie give hawaii another try?”
If I like the song it means "yes" if I hate the song it means “no"
(I usually only ask these questions to the radio because I realize asking my ipod is not fair due to song choice bias)

anyway...I asked today “should winnie give Hawaii another go, and try again there? (If I like the song it means "yes”......)
anyway, the song I got was "here's where the story ends" from the sundays.

first of all, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that song, secondly, who would've ever expected a Sunday's song on the radio? and third...I think I may have my answer?

I'm not 100% sure yet. I want to go back on vacation and see how I like it--and I'm sure I will, but I want to see if this is actual "longing for a better life" verses "homesickness."

Right now, I'm at work, and i'm watching a five year old smack his lips while he chows down on chicken mc.nuggets (but not the mcdonalds ones) and I'm hating it.
I didn't just waste almost 30,000 dollars in student loans to be doing this.
And, I don't want to let a 5 year old determine whether or not I'm going to "make it" anymore.

On top of that, because I’m poor as fuck, every little thing that happens at my job (whether it be positive or negative) equals a 50 minute long conversation with whoever’s willing to listen. I don’t want to be one of those people who lets work control their life. And in being out there, for the WHOLE whopping 4 months, all I’ve been able to talk about is work.

So, we shall see.
but perhaps the radio was saying: look winnie, you're fed up, here's where the story ends. Start a new story with new perspective somewhere else...

But, whatever the outcome, I’m extremely unhappy with my current life in California.

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