Blog Archive

1.17.2010

time to let go.

frank decided to say something stupid again.
"I feel like I should say sorry"

well you know what, I feel like I should say sorry too...

I feel like I owe myself an apology for putting up with the stupidest assholes for extended periods of time.

I want to say sorry to myself for purposely wasting my time on idiots who just wanted me around for their own emotional gratification.

I want to say sorry for putting myself through endless nights of wondering "why" when I secretly already knew the answer.

and I want to say sorry for keeping this going for so long. I keep wondering why I haven't found mr. right, or why I can't shake this lonely feeling...well, it's because I won't let go of the past.

I have no space in my heart for anything new because it's occupied with dusty old faces, and is badly patched together with loose wires. Even if someone new even tried to squeeze their way in, they might just slip through a crack.

It's time to let go of the past...

I look at my soul (and emotions) like a bunch of colorful balloons.
I thought the best way to keep it safe was to try and tie myself to various anchors. what I forgot to ask was...safe to whom, and safe from what?

Because I never resolve any issues, I just keep tying more and more anchors to the same strings, and my balloons are getting closer and closer to the ground. now, i'm just as vulnerable to be stepped on as I was to fly away.


It's time to just let go, because it's okay to float away.
it's okay to go to heights were some might pop.
it's okay to have someone run after you, arms reaching out, just about to touch your dangling stings.
it's okay
it's okay
it's okay
...it's okay to let go.

**Winnie.

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