tears of a clown, when there's no one around

I had a dream about you
you were next to me the whole time, and i didn't realize
and when I did finally take notice, you were gone

I woke up crying, but no tears would come out
just fast, hard breathing with a saddened face
an anxiety attack of a slow-healing soul



my heart still hurts terribly from
holding the heavy weight of your emptiness.

 Yes, your emptiness.

When you left this world,
all of your pain, loneliness, and anger
was distributed
to everyone who knew you.

All of the memories
of your smiling voice, and laughing face
comes with the weight of what you were carrying

and my dear friend,
you carried a very heavy, heavy, weight.

But, now,
at least,
you
are free.

**winnie.