I talked to my mom tonight, and I"m sure it's out of extreme exhaustion, but I started crying so hard after I got off the phone with her.
Of course, right when this happened, Nina Simone's version of "just like a woman" was flooding out of my apple computer...
but isn't it the truth...
"I take just like a woman,
yes I do.
And I make love
just like a woman...
And I ache
just like a woman
but I break
a little girl..."
I miss seeing my mom's face.
Like, listening to her over the phone, I pictured all of her facial expressions and her gestures...
but, the reality of it is, I'm relying on what I see in my mind, rather than what I'm seeing with my eyes.
I know I'm not supposed to understand life's course,
and I'm not supposed to know why things happen, but knowing that doesn't make it hurt less.
In some respect, I suppose I'm feeling the pains and pangs of getting older--those cliche growing pains, that everyone speaks of...
but these pains just make life so much more samushi.
it's too much for me, right now.