Blog Archive

10.23.2008

reflections of an elitist


I've finished my paintings...
all 32 of them. I may just work on one more...33.
3
3
good numbers.

I had a strange incident with a mailbox today.
nothing worth mentioning in complete detail...

Today was the first time, in a lonnnnnnnnng time, that I got home before 6pm. I was home by 4 and I took a nap. now I'm awake and the dark blue sky greets me with a smile.

* * *

all this time I hoped that you would love me the way that I loved you. Now, I love you the way you love me. it's strange. distant, but there. It's like looking out into the horizon and seeing a figure, knowing the figure but never really looking at it--simply keeping my eyes fixated on something in the great beyond.

I spent years looking at you--only you. never looking at the world around me. Only finding beauty in you...and the things you said and did. The world changed around me. Suns were rising and setting, skies were changing, colors were passing, and yet i was focused only on you.
Now that the perspective has changed and you're just a fuzzy image in the larger scope of the world, the picture is all the more clear. The world is beautiful, at times it's less beautiful that you are, but at other times...it's unspeakable and breathtaking...


you're always going to be there. next to me. looking in the same direction--forward. our eyes will never meet, but we'll always see the world from the same vantage point.
There are many people looking in the opposite direction.--looking toward me, looking towards you. eyes will meet, conversation will take place, but I know that i'll never find another person who will see the world the way as you and I do.

I've explained this scenario to so many people. I receive sad eyes and a heartfelt "awww, I'm sorry" or "that's too bad." but no one seems to understand how beautiful it all is. we're looking that the world together, so I'm never going to be alone.
romance, lust, hatred, and beauty...they all sprout from the same seed.

we too have sprouted. two leaves from the same branch. you're my favorite person in the world--and I say that with love in my heart and clarity in my mind.

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