track 10. electrelane.

track 10.

I know the title of the song, it's "enter laughing"
and as stated, in the 'artist' section of my itunes catalog, it's from: electrelane.

I keep it as "track 10" as a mini memory of how happy i was to receive a c.d. of mixed music from david.

I have deleted every song, every track, burned from that c.d on to my itunes, except that one. 95% of it is because I sincerely love that song--everything about it, the sound, the mood, the lyrics...everything.

but, the 5% is because, out of all of the songs on that c.d. that particular song made me feel like, maybe--just maybe, someone in the world really "got" me.

Even though, the outcome of my strange partially pre-fabricated friendship with david was absolutely heartbreaking, and we barely even know each other anymore, that song will always take me back to a windy afternoon when I had skipped class to go home for awhile to rest, only to find a letter and a c.d. in the mail.

Since david (and frank)
I've stopped with my "I'm going to write letters and make c.d's" for guys I like. I have even slowed down with making c.d's for friends. I just share music, and if they like what they hear, I just give my music away.

I think somewhere a part of me has matured, I can't win someone over with my (amazing) music taste, and I can't push myself onto someone with my handwritten ways. I don't want to send stars in the mail, or pass books back and forth anymore. maybe the trial and error phase has proven a clear error in my ways...

but, the sad thing is, that was the part of me that i liked best.

**winnie.