Blog Archive

12.29.2010

baptism.

this might be my last entry for 2010...
we Asians take the new year's planning to the farthest limit, and if my visions serve me correctly, I will be one busy lady for the next 3 days...cleaning (done today), preparing, cooking, and serving.
So with that said...

let me get to the blog.
2010 kinda served as a big time-stamp on my life.
10 years from highschool
15 years years without my dad
1st year of holding a "respectable" job


major things happened to me this year, some good, a lot bad...
but, the amazing thing about this year is, everything happened without me being in control of it.

the 3 major relationships which kept my heart and mind in self-created cages
have all diminished on their own.
For the first time, in 10 years, I'm free from all of the weights I purposely attached myself to.
they're all gone--but, beautifully, they're gone on good terms.

I'm no longer heartbroken, no longer looking for guidance, or waiting for any of  them to come back to me, because, with some type of black magic, they're all gone.

Having this year end with non-stop rain has added metaphors to the way I interpret everything...
But, it's just too poetic not to.

I dragged my own heart in the mud to come out clean in the end.
happiness doesn't even come close to describing how I feel...
it's so much more than that...


***

free like the river, flowing freely through infinity,
winnie.

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